There comes a time in everyone’s life when something changes. We stop calling a spade a spade, stop running free, carefree, and start thinking more about what is socially ‘right’ than what we really feel.
This subtle and unavoidable transformation raises an important question: when do we stop being children and why?
Children are the mirror of purity. They tell the truth as they see it, without fear of consequences. If a child doesn’t like something, they will tell you straight out, “I don’t like this food!” Or if they admire something, they’ll express their sincere joy. Nothing is filtered, nothing is hidden.
Why don’t we get angry at children for such reactions? Because they are children. We know that what they say comes from a place of sincerity and innocence. But as we grow up, society begins to educate us, “Stop saying that, it’s not nice.” “Don’t get on the table.” “Don’t you be a little bitch.”
When we give up our inner child is not clearly defined. For some, it happens gradually, as they learn to avoid criticism or integrate into social groups. For others, it may be a sudden transition, such as a harsh adult observation or an experience that changes their perception of the world.
The questions that nag me are: Should we be like children, living with unfiltered honesty? Or is it better to adapt to what society finds acceptable?
Losing touch with our childhood seems to have a negative connotation. But isn’t it, rather, part of so-called evolutionary psychology, which explains why we tend to form social relationships, seek partners with certain traits, survive and reproduce?
The answer is not absolute. Children’s honesty is wonderful, but can sometimes be painful for those around them. Similarly, social conformity helps us to live in harmony with others, but if we give up authenticity completely, we can lose our identity.
Some people consider it an act of pride to say everything out in the open, regardless of the emotional impact they may have on a person. They say: “I speak the naked truth” – well, their version of the truth. But they are ignorant to the feelings of the person addressed.
I see two aspects here: the need to belong and emotional intelligence.
The need to belong:
According to Abraham Maslow’s theory of human needs, belonging is one of the basic needs, along with security and love. Being part of a community provides a sense of identity and connection. Belonging reduces feelings of isolation and provides a sense of purpose in life.
People in close communities are more resilient to stress because they have access to social support networks. Research from the Harvard Study of Adult Development shows that close social relationships and belonging to healthy communities are the best predictors of happiness and longevity.
Emotional intelligence:
Studies on emotional intelligence suggest that people who manage to be both authentic and empathic have better relationships and are happier. That means we can tell the truth, but in a way that doesn’t hurt others. Daniel Goleman argues that emotional intelligence can be developed through practice and self-awareness, and this plays a crucial role in long-term success, both personally,
At the same time, the concept of conscious authenticity is increasingly discussed. It is about being honest, but also sensitive to context. Expressing your emotions and opinions without denying the validity of others’ feelings.
So: how to keep the inner child, but with doses of wisdom
Children remind us what it is like to be free, spontaneous and honest. But as adults, we have a responsibility to integrate into society without losing this authenticity. In my opinion, the solution is not to choose between being like a child or conforming, but to find a balance between the two.
Returning to our inner child is essential to live our lives with joy and meaning. But we need to add to this spontaneity a dose of empathy, maturity and respect for others.
So next time you feel constrained by society’s rules, stop for a moment. Think about what your child would make of you and how you can adapt that impulse to your adult life. Embrace authenticity and discover the joy of being yourself.
The psychologist Carl Jung said that “in every adult there is a child – the child who has been and wants to be free again.” Reconnecting with this part of ourselves allows us to live a more authentic and happier life.
Live, learn and smile – because somewhere inside you, your inner child is waiting for you to reconnect with it!
Have a crazy day!
Claudiu
