The other day I bought a mango. An ordinary fruit, found in a supermarket in Bucharest, without great expectations. We all know that, more often than not, the exotic fruits available to us fail to come close to the authentic taste of their regions of origin. We pick them up, we look at them, we imagine a vibrant sensory experience, and yet we often get something bland, lacking in consistency.
When I finally tasted it, I was instantly transported to Asia, to the Philippines. That full, flavorful, meaty, meaty, sweet taste – it caught me off guard. It wasn’t just good. It was an experience, a vivid memory, a thrill. And I realized, without realizing it, that I was happy in that moment.
This seemingly trivial incident brought to mind a question I recently received: “What makes you happy?” It’s a fundamental question that deserves deep and honest reflection, and I’d like to move beyond the ubiquitous “health and relationships”, which are without doubt extremely important.
In my books, The Secret Code of Success – The JeDI Code and The Imp and the Angel – The Two Personal Advisors Who Guide Our Lives, I have explored the idea of fulfillment and meaning, and the contribution these important elements have to our well-being, a state we can call happiness. But there is a great gift!
It’s true: there’s nothing quite like the feeling of accomplishment when you complete an important project or realize a hard-earned dream. However, this form of happiness has a limit. Once the goal is reached, the euphoria fades and the mind searches for a new goal.
In terms of relationships, they are a major source of fulfillment but also of vulnerability. Relationships transform. They can evolve, fall apart or stagnate. If we link our happiness only to what we receive from the outside, we become dependent on factors we cannot fully control.
So what is happiness?
Gretchen Rubin says beautifully, “Happiness comes not from having more or less, but from wanting what you have.” Profound and relevant. Happiness is not built on accumulation, but on appreciation.
The Stoics have been saying it for thousands of years: “Live in the present!” Not in the past you can’t change, not in the future you can’t control. But in the now. In this moment.
Coming back to that mango: it was, for me, a metaphor for genuine happiness. Not grandiose, not spectacular, but real, deep and grounded in a present moment. Nothing extraordinary was needed. Just a moment of awareness, sincere emotion and full presence.
Happiness lies in those subtle, often overlooked experiences. In the smile of a stranger, the warm morning light, the smell of coffee or the sound of leaves rustling in the wind. A hug, a caress, a kiss. It is a state of fine tune with life.
The more such genuine emotions you accumulate each day, the deeper your wellbeing becomes. Of course, a happy life does not mean a perfectly balanced existence, like a Zen spa, where everything is calm and positive. Real life is complex, full of ups and downs, challenges and unexpected moments. But even in the midst of the chaos, remember to notice those simple gifts that we often overlook simply because they have been effortlessly given to us.
But leaving philosophy for a moment, let’s see what we can do. What is practical and real? How do we turn ideas into living?
Enjoy the now, the present. Don’t run away from it. Don’t sacrifice it for an uncertain later.
Feel everything around you. People. Nature. Sounds. Smells. Words. Even seemingly mundane things have a quiet poetry in them. You just have to pay attention.
Live the emotion. Enjoy that tingle of joy, that spontaneous smile, that twitch of gratitude.
Collect moments, not just achievements. Like beads. Build a necklace of happiness. Day by day. Moment by moment.
Live consciously. Happiness is often present, but we don’t see it because we are distracted. Remember to be present, to choose, to feel.
Happiness is not a peak to be reached, but a path to be traveled. It is not dependent on ideal circumstances, but on our ability to see and feel what we already have. It is not a reward, but a way of living.
Life is not always serene, nor should it be. But even in the most complicated days we can find moments of light, of calm, of genuine joy. The important thing is not to ignore them.
That’s it! I finished that mango. The taste is gone, but the excitement and the smile are gone!
Have a day with lots of smiles. And maybe even a good mango!
Claudiu
