Recently, I listened to a fascinating podcast in the World Science Festival series with Brian Greene, in which he interviewed writer Benjamin Labatut. One of his observations stuck in my mind: “We are a species haunted by ourselves.”
Great!
Labatut has described, with astonishing simplicity, the nature of the thoughts that consume us. He argues that we are haunted by our own ideas and experiences, trapped in a vicious circle created by our own minds.
This visual, almost tangible description gives you the impression that thoughts are following you. And when you “turn around” to see who the “ghost” is, you discover it is you.
Although Labatut’s analysis is brilliant, I hope that the idea that “there is no way out” is too pessimistic. I believe that there are solutions, that we can break this cycle.
These solutions were not slow to emerge, in their various forms.
Have you ever thought about something intensely and then, as if by synchronicity, come across the same idea in a different form? Perhaps through a word spoken by a friend, a dream or a completely new experience? It happens to me a lot. That’s exactly how it was with this idea about the thoughts that nag us.
I was reading, just a few days before, a passage from the book The Magician of Lhasa by David Michie, in which Lama Tsering responds to a restless disciple with a short story:
Two Buddhist monks set out on a journey and, at one point, come to a river they want to cross. On one side of the river was a young girl who could not cross alone. One of the monks suggested that she take her back. When they reach the other bank, he lets her down and continues on their way. After several hours of walking in silence, the other monk reproaches her: “You shouldn’t have touched her. One of our vows is not to have physical contact with women.” The first monk replies, “I put her down four hours ago. Why are you still carrying it?”
This story teaches us something simple but profound: not to let ourselves be prisoners of the past. Rumination, repetitive thoughts about past events, are not only useless, but deeply affect our happiness and mental health.
Why are we haunted by thoughts?
There are multiple causes for these nagging thoughts, well studied by psychologists:
- Uncertain or perceived threatening situations activate defense mechanisms, forcing us to constantly analyze.
- Perfectionism and self-criticism lead to bottlenecks in negative evaluations of one’s own performance (such as imposter syndrome).
- Emotional traumas or unprocessed events remain stuck in our minds.
- Chemical imbalances, such as low serotonin levels, can amplify the predisposition to rumination.
- Mental habituation can cause the brain to automatically fall into ruminative patterns.
In my most recent book, Dialogue with My Mother, written together with my mother, Mihaela Profiriu Mateescu, I have developed at length the theme of thought and egregor and how we can avoid the thought that is eating us.
Buddhists, yogis, stoics, psychologists and scientists all give us more or less the same solutions, but expressed in a different way. Contrary to Labatut’s conclusion, there are ways out of this vicious circle. The key is to take control of our mind by:
- Awareness and acceptance that these nagging thoughts exist. Acknowledge the thoughts and say to yourself, “It’s just a thought.” Separate the emotion from the mental content.
- In many esoteric techniques, you can remove a negative thought with a physical gesture (such as moving your hand from left to right) and repeating words such as “Cancel!” to break the energetic connection.
- Replace negative thoughts with positive inner dialog, positive affirmations. You can say “I’m doing the best I can at the moment”. I would also suggest a smile!
- Practice daily gratitude, which will remind you of the many good things you did and enjoyed that day.
- Last but not least: physical activity, which reduces cortisol levels and stimulates the release of endorphins.
There are many other techniques, but what’s important to remember is that there is a multitude of solutions to get out of that vicious circle we get into when the thought is nagging at us, when we are haunted by ourselves.
Is it simple? No! It is difficult. It requires discipline and conscious effort. But the benefits are immeasurable and have an extraordinarily beneficial effect on your mind and body.
Write to me about what techniques you use to avoid rumination, to keep the thoughts from haunting you.
A day with many happy thoughts!
Claudiu
