Hi,
I was talking in a strategy session for my coaching program about a parallel between a physical wound and an emotional, soul wound and I thought I’d share some thoughts with you. I hope you find them interesting.
In the complex fabric of human existence, wounds come in many forms. Some are visible, dug into our skin like battle scars, while others remain hidden, buried deep in our hearts, souls and minds.
When our body is physically injured – a cut, a bruise, a broken bone – it instinctively knows what to do. Blood flows to the wound, the clotting process begins, and the healing process kicks into action. Our immune system mobilizes, cells regenerate and tissue heals. Without any conscious effort, our body orchestrates a highly complex process, like a symphony rehearsed over and over again, where each performer knows exactly what to do.
In this area, our body is the master conductor, conducting the orchestra of healing.
Emotional wounds, however, follow a different script. They do not heal passively, they require our active participation. When our heart aches, when betrayal stings, or when grief envelops us, our mind has to enter the scene.
The brain tries to restore balance to our emotional state, but the process is not always smooth. Unlike physical wounds, emotional scars do not have a simple healing path. They can fester, persist and sometimes reopen unexpectedly. Our thoughts can heal, but they can just as easily maintain the wound and even deepen it.
Emotions generate chemical reactions in our bodies. Anger, sadness, love – they all have unique symphonies. Our brains strive to restore balance, but they need our direct, conscious help by controlling our thoughts, by the mental state we build and maintain.
Dr. Deepak Chopra talks in his book, The Quantum Body, about 5 mistakes that underlie pain and suffering, defined by the Vedic rishis and called kleshe. They bring up the specter of suffering in the mind even when there is no suffering.
The 5 kleshe are:
- Ignorance: the inability to tell the difference between true and false.
- Egoism: identification with the “I”, the individual self.
- Attachment: clinging to certain things, objects of desire.
- Aversion: rejection of other things, objects of repulsion.
- Fear of Death: fear of annihilation.
In the context I’m developing today, the aversion and the example that Dr. Chopra presented caught my attention:“If you sprained your ankle on the playground as a child, the pain probably didn’t leave much of a mark. But if you were humiliated at school, the aversion to further humiliation usually lasts a lifetime.”
The saying is very true: ” words hurt more than stones.”
In the most recent book I wrote, The Imp and the Angel – the two personal counselors that guide our lives, I mentioned the theory of the opponent process in addiction and how we can reverse this process through conscious action in order to increase that level of normalcy that our brains perceive as balance.
The first step is acceptance. Acceptance becomes our ally. Recognizing emotional wounds is embracing that crucial part of our healing journey.
The second step is awareness. Healing depends on us. We are active participants, not bystanders. The only person we harm is ourselves through the emotional, chemical and physical reactions we generate in our bodies.
The third and most important step is action. Getting back to our daily routines, which have the effect of raising that level of normality. We have elaborated extensively in the book about the five key elements the body needs to function optimally: water, rest, food, exercise and, most importantly, positive thinking. In small steps, it is imperative to act inspired and get back to those daily routines that have a major impact on our body.
This is how the healing dance begins.
On the great stage of existence, physical and emotional wounds intertwine. Our bodies and our minds dance together, sometimes in harmony, sometimes in discord. Acceptance, awareness and inspired action become our partners in this dance of healing.
So let us honor our scars – the visible and the hidden. In them lies our humanity, our capacity to heal and our courage to participate in this magnificent dance of healing.
Accept, realize, act!
Claudiu
