I once heard a challenge posed by a psychotherapist on a podcast. Unfortunately, I no longer remember the name of the podcast or the host, but the idea stayed with me and continued grow on me.
The challenge went something like this:
Imagine that, on the day you are born, someone entrusts a human being to your care.
You are told that, from that moment on, you are responsible for them. You must feed them, protect their health, help them grow, learn, and find their place in society. You must pay attention to the people you allow near them, the environments you introduce them to, the way you speak to them, and the dreams you encourage them to pursue.
It is your responsibility to help them become a whole human being. To make them feel loved, valued, and safe. To notice their sadness, respect their boundaries, and never abandon them when they make mistakes.
Now imagine that this person is you.
How would your decisions change?
Perhaps you would not force them to remain in a place where they are humiliated every day. You would not tell them that they must accept anything simply to be loved. You would not demand that they work themselves to exhaustion and then condemn them for being tired.
You probably would not constantly feed them things that harm them. You would not allow them to sleep too little, live in a permanent rush, and ignore their body until it begins to cry out through pain.
If you were caring for someone else, you would notice their suffering sooner. You would ask them how they feel. You would encourage them. You would remind them that a mistake does not define them and that failure does not erase their worth.
So why is it so difficult to offer ourselves the same care?
Many of us have learned to always put ourselves last. We confuse sacrifice with love. We tell ourselves that we will take care of ourselves after we finish the project, after we make everyone else happy, after the difficult period has passed.
But there will always be something else to do.
Putting yourself at the center does not mean becoming indifferent to others. It means no longer excluding yourself from the people you love.
The first thing we should pay attention to is the way we speak to ourselves. Our inner voice can become either a friend or an abuser. When you make a mistake, ask yourself: “Would I speak this way to someone I love?” If the answer is no, change your tone. Be gentle with yourself, just as you would be with someone dear to you.
Then look at your everyday choices. Do the people you allow close to you respect your soul, or do they constantly make you doubt yourself? Does your work support your life, or does it consume it entirely? Does your body receive rest, nourishment, and movement, or only the promise that one day you will take care of it too?
A good friend does not always tell you what you want to hear. Sometimes they tell you to leave. Other times, they ask you to stay and not abandon a dream simply because the road is difficult. They help you understand the difference between a healthy boundary and a fear that is keeping you trapped.
Becoming your own best friend also means keeping the promises you make to yourself. If you tell yourself that you will start writing, write at least one page. If you promise yourself that you will rest, do not turn rest into yet another reason to feel guilty. Self-trust is built through the small gestures that show you that you can rely on yourself.
You may not have control over everything that happens to you. But you are responsible for the way you treat the person who is going through it.
And that person is you.
I also explore this return to the self, the way our thoughts, choices, and the relationship we build with ourselves shape our live, in greater depth in my book, The Secret Code of Success. Because authentic success does not begin on the outside. It begins within, the moment you learn to stop abandoning yourself and become your own ally.
Do not abandon the person who was entrusted to you. Do not punish them because they are still learning. Nourish them with things that make them feel alive. Protect them from whatever diminishes them. Encourage them to grow, but remind them that they are worthy of love even before becoming the best version of themselves.
A human being has been placed in your care.
Become their best friend.
Wishing you a day filled with healthy choices!
Claudiu
